Being 23

First off, yes, I do still smile like that--Trevor can confirm. Secondly, this month has been INSANE! I've been removed from my blog lately (besides my weekly recap posts), and so, I want to apologize for that. It is my birthday month, and I was kind of taking a break at the beginning of the month to relax and celebrate. I spent some time on myself and just kind of relaxed about.

But then, it all started spiraling down. My motivation for this blog has been kind of shot at the moment. A huge push has been put on Trevor and I's vlogs. We are trying to make them better and more engaging. You might have noticed that the last few have had a little more of a story or a focus. We are trying to create a flow and a narrative. It's hard work and something totally different, but we are enjoying experimenting with new things. That all being said, my focus has been entirely on that and not my blog.

But this post is supposed to be about my birthday--and this month in which I turned 23. Do you like my pictures above from when I was little? I had my mom send me a bunch for this post, and I loved them all so much I had to post them. The top left one is from a trip that I took with my Grandma, Grandpa, and cousin to Disney World. I absolutely loved that visor!!! The top right image is from Christmas--see me posing with my new remote control skater girl? I know, I know, coolest gift ever, right?! Anyways, I also COVERED in chicken pox in that picture. I got chicken pox really bad as a kid. The bottom two are portraits from different ages. I believe the bottom right image was actually taken at school--second grade? maybe third?

Well, anyways, I've grown up a lot since those pictures, but it's fun to look at them and smile. This birthday was a weird one for me. I feel like after age 21 and maybe 22 the birthdays just don't matter. There's not too much to really look forward to with each ticking year, age wise that is. Of course I've got PLENTY of things to look forward to (marriage, kids, etc.) but now age doesn't really matter. I can drink legally, I can get married whenever I want without society being like "you're too young." If I decided to have a kid right now at this age it would be acceptable.... so, age has become very arbitrary now.

It's weird being an adult. All my life I've said things like "when I turn 18 I'm totally going to get my ear pierced," or "when I turn 21 it's going to be soooo much fun to go the bars," or "when I graduate college I'm going to do so many different things." These are all valid truths of things I said and ultimately did when I reached a certain stage in life. But now, it's like I don't have to wait for anything. If I want to do something I can do it, it's acceptable at any age now, age doesn't seem to matter. I could be 23 or 25 and I could do the same things.

I don't know if this post is making any sense, but I wanted to get these feelings out. The past month has been super busy, fully of evaluating, and thinking about what direction I want the rest of this year to go. It's liberating knowing that I'm at an age now where I could practically do anything I wanted, but it's also overwhelming and a little terrifying.

Oh, to be in Kindergarten again.